I'll Never Be Lonely Again
by seriousbiznasty
Summary: A reminiscent between an old man and his dead husband. Written for the 2012 Homestuck Secret Santa project. Sadstuckish with a happy ending. TW: Suicide.


John's shaky, unsteady hand reached to grab a few of his pill bottles from the cabinet. After selecting a few sleeping medications and pain killers, he closed the bathroom cabinet and stared at himself in the mirror, silently wondering where that seventeen-year-old boy went. And when he was replaced with this man in the mirror.

"Eighty-eight is too old..." he mumbled.

Thin, silver hair rested light as a feather on his head. Each wrinkle, each deep cress in his face could tell about an adventure he had. His hands spotted and knuckles knobbed were especially labored, but only from love. Only from holding onto his hand. Each bag under his eyes could tell of another sleepless night where he had stayed up, sitting on the window seat, staring at one particular bright blue star that was always right next to the moon in the summer months.

That star had an even better story.

He took his glass of water and several pill bottles to that spot on the window, and placed them next to the permanent photo frame that stayed there. After setting his meds and water down, he lifted the photo and examined it.

John and the love of his life, on their wedding day. His love was ironically in a wedding dress, holding John close, in a tight embrace, and in the middle of a passionate kiss. Shades were bumping against glasses, but that didn't stop either of them. "Happy Seventieth Anniversary, Dave... You left just two months too early, you know." he whispered weakly, a few tears escaping his blue eyes. His eyes were the only thing that hadn't aged, still a vibrant oceanic blue.  
He remembered it as if it were yesterday, but there was a day way earlier than that that he could picture even clearer.

* * *

"So this is where you come to think?" John asked, climbing out of the passenger seat of Dave's vintage '77 Dodge Charger (red, of course). Dave nodded and slid out of the driver's seat, then climbed up on the hood of the car and leaned back, hands resting behind his head. "Come on, you won't dent the hood or anything." John followed in pursuit, clumsily clambering up on the hood next to Dave. He rested his hands across his stomach and stared up at the sky.

"You can see so many stars out here," he commented after a moment of silence. "Yeah. Pretty chill inspiration, right?" John grinned wide, but that grin faded as he searched the sky through his lenses. "Hey, where's the moon?" Dave propped up on his elbows for a second, looking around, then pointed over towards where the edge of the field met a tower of trees. "Right over there, just above the trees."  
John searched, and then his grin came back. "Ah. There it is... Hey, look at that star right next to it!"

"Where?"

"Right there, to the immediate left. That big blue star right there!" Dave followed John's finger and gazed up at the sky. A small smile twitched at the corner of his mouth. "Oh, I see it."

"Good, I'm not crazy."

"I never said that."

John playfully slapped Dave's arm, which earned one of those rare, rare laughs that erupted from Dave. "Dude, what was that for?"

"You deserved it." Dave smirked and lied back down, resting his hands over his stomach as well. John's goofy buck-toothed smile fell right behind. They both went back to stargazing, a sweet silence taking over. The only thing really audible was the chirp of crickets, colonies and colonies scattered across the field.

"I guess you're right, though. I am crazy to come down to Texas to see some loser like you." Dave turned his head to look at John, that smirk never faltering. "Hey, get it right. I'm a cool loser. You're just a dorky loon." John stuck his tongue out, turning to meet Dave's gaze. "But I guess I'm happy you're crazy enough to come visit me." There was a few seconds of silence.

"Yeah. I'm happy, too."

Suddenly, they were both quiet. Everything was. It felt like the crickets had stopped chirping. Dave pushed himself up on one elbow, twisting to the side slightly, and John turned over on his side to better face Dave. Dave got closer. John got closer. Their faces were inches apart, space between quickly diminishing.

John let his eyes close, and the next thing he knew, he felt a warm pair of lips against his own. That one pair of warm, rough lips that he had longed for, for nearly four years. The victory was sweet like apple juice, and the friction was like sparks from a firework. It was so amazing. He kissed back gently, and he brought his hand up behind Dave's neck, pulling him closer. He wanted more, needed more. Dave immediately complied, sitting up and pulling John into his lap. The kiss got a bit more passionate after that, deeper, more intense.

John's head was spinning, his actions were escaping him, but he knew one thing.

He felt completely whole, happy. Wanted.

He pulled away for a second to catch his breath, heart pounding so fast that he could feel it about to come up his throat. Dave seemed like he needed to catch his breath, too. He was just a tad less obvious than John. They didn't say anything. They didn't look at each other.

Obviously, John's head was still spinning, because he whispered out, "I love you." Dave just looked at him, shades slightly askew. "What?"

"I love you." he said a bit louder. "I... I've loved you for nearly four years now. I just thought... You were with Terezi, you know? And... And I just... I couldn't say anything..." John huffed and moved himself back to his spot on the car, then pulled his knees up to his chest. He waited for Dave to say something, but he didn't.

"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have said anything! I-I just got caught up in the moment and I've wanted to kiss you for a long time now, and-"

"I love you, too."

John glanced over at him. "But... How long?"

"Longer than I care to remember. Back when I first met you. I knew you were special. I thought to myself, 'Hey, there's a guy worth looking into.' "

"But... But Terezi-"

"And I were never a thing. Everyone just assumed we were. We were just tight friends. Still are." That subtle smirk crawled back onto Dave's face, and John found himself grinning like an idiot again. He scooted back over to Dave and became tangled up in his arms. They leaned back against the car and kissed, a few more times after that, then watched the stars until they both fell asleep.

That exact date, one year later, is when Dave Strider and John Egbert got married.

* * *

There was a rapping on the door, then a jangle of keys and the creaking of hinges.

"Dad? Dad, are you up? It's noon!" Casey closed the door behind her and looked around. Nothing had changed since yesterday, when she had last been over. "Dad, come on. I got you some chicken nuggets! Your favorite! I had to stop by McDonald's for Madeline and Anna, anyways. Geez, teenagers eat a shit ton of food. Did I ever eat that much when I was a teen?" she called, trying to make conversation so he'd get up. She set her stuff down in the living room and knocked on his bedroom door. "Dad, come on! Get up!"

No response.

"...Dad?" She slowly opened the door and looked around. The first thing she saw were a few empty pill bottles lying on the ground, next to a shattered glass. Her voice got lower, more quiet.

"...Dad?" She stepped inside, looked over towards the bed. It was empty. Then she looked towards the window, and covered her mouth, eyes wide.

She wanted to vomit.

"Oh... Oh my God! DAD!"

* * *

John felt great. He felt energetic, warm, just a ball of energy. He looked down at his hands, smooth and a solid pale peach color. He felt his face. No wrinkles, no bags. He looked around, trying to figure out where he was. His bright blue eyes landed upon a familiar figure. And for the first time in two months, he smiled.

"Hey, Egbert. Come on and hop up here, I saved you a seat. You won't dent the hood or anything."


End file.
